It's What HAPPENS In That Six Minutes.......

I got to post this every once in a while! :)

Vison Quest ~ Elmo speach

Abraham Lincoln Quotes

And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.

More from old Abe

Criminal Searches

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Yeah I'm talking to you - Our Movie

If Anybody Had A Heart ~ John Waite
About Last Night

Get paid to lose weight

Movie Quote

The Truman Show
Christof: We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented.

Wow! Boob play

The Man Rules

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
-----------------------------------
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Restaurant Info

Essentials Of A Good Woman

Loyal
Supportive
Patient
Sensible
Calm

Full Article

Movie Quote

Hope Floats
Birdee: Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.

Sexy Chick. Nice body

Blind Date observations........

1) A BLIND DATE IS A SETUP THAT IS ALMOST GUARANTEED TO FAIL
Because you are nervous, the other person is nervous, and both of you are scrutinizing and analyzing every little detail and word that the other utters. All this pressure to put on a perfect performance and seem confident and relaxed is enough to make anyone insane. Now add to that the fact that many people using personals are socially retarded/shy/introverted/lack self-esteem, and you have a recipie for failure. And when it's over, you're frustrated, and the frustration leads to anxiety and depression, which only makes it that much harder for you to date again. (The secret tip: Don't take it so seriously, it's just a blind date, not a marriage proposal!)

2) THE BLIND DATE IS A TOTALLY ARTIFICIAL SITUATION
There is nothing normal or natural about a blind date, so don't expect the person you meet to seem normal or natural.

3) MANY PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR ANY REASON NOT TO DATE YOU AGAIN.
Some people are scared of intimacy, and look for a reason to not date you. Are you too fat, too ugly, too nervous? Do you have a checkered past? Are you an ex-con, recovered alcolholic, immigrant, in debt, come from an abused home? It's too bad, because some people are very nice and of excellent character, but we are not allowing them to grow.

I've found some people expect you to show up as Mr./Ms. Perfect, with absolutely no baggage and no problems and perfect teeth and a shiny European car. Well, guess what, folks: that shit only happens in fantasyland! If you meet someone who claims they have no baggage, then that person is either a liar or a psychopath.

4) CHARACTER IS WHAT REALLY COUNTS
Is the person you date nice to the waiter? Is that person someone who volunteers and gives back to society, or is he/she just a full-time partier? Yes, we all like passion and spiceness/sexiness/exoticness, but it's character, friendship and loyalty that really makes a long-term relationship.

5) LOOKS ARE IRRELEVANT
I've received about 40 email responses from Craiglist during the past 2 months. Most women disappear when they see my online photo, as if I were the most repulsive person in the world. Well, let me tell you: I had relationships with two women last year. One was beautiful and one was ugly. The beautiful one turned out to be a coldhearted, spoiled, self-centered bitch. The ugly one was a warm, funny, smart, loving, honest, caring person whom I loved very deeply. And it taught me a lesson: if you are patient, you can let yourself fall in love with someone no matter what he/she looks like.

6) FOREIGN WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT FROM AMERICAN WOMEN
I also found that foreign women are often bolder and less afraid to meet a man than American women. Foreign women are quicker to give out their phone number and meet you for coffee, while American women will just string you along for days or weeks and you may still never actually meet them.

8) IT TAKES TIME TO TRULY KNOW A PERSON
Many of these women go on one date and then never want to see you again. You're not "sexy" enough, or you're not "balanced" enough. One date is a ridiculously short time to know someone, no matter how many personal questions you ask them. People will never know what a truly nice and thoughtful person you are because they never give you the chance to show that side of yourself. How can one demonstrate those qualities to another when one is merely sitting in Starbucks Coffee house for 2 hours, playing 20 question and sipping lattes?

Now, think about your coworkers at the office. When you first met some of them, you liked them-- but after 6 months, you're kind of sick of some of those people, right? Other people in your office, perhaps the quiet one in the corner, turned out to be very nice and reliable. Some people seem great at first, but are really full of shit once you get to know them.

9) THE PURPOSE OF A FIRST DATE IS TO SEE IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A SECOND DATE.
Relax. Forget about sex. Chill out. Stop wondering if you want to marry this person and have babies. Just ask yourself: are you having a nice time with this person? And then go on a second date, and a third date. Don't confuse the issue by bringing sex into it.
Ask yourself: Is this a nice person? Is this a reliable person? Is this a fun person? Ask them their values and what they want in the future. And cut them some slack, because if you're a perfectionist, you'll end up alone.

10) SOME WOMEN EXPECT MEN TO BE ENTERTAINERS
Women want guys who are funny. They want to be entertained. How ridiculous. The funniest comedians are the ones who had miserable childhoods or were nerds in school. Is that what you want? Or do you want a guy that tells dumb jokes all day? Get real. Nobody is a human joke machine, and Groucho Marx drove his wives crazy....

11) STOP THE PRESSURE, RELAX, AND TAKE YOUR TIME
Don't be in such a rush to find out if your date is perfect for you. He/she may be a diamond in the rough. It might take 2, 3 , or even 20 dates before you truly understand this person. Look at the divorce rate, folks. All those people thought they were marrying their soul mates, and then realized they were wrong years later. Some people can't stand up under the hard glare of reality, while others blossom if given the chance.

12) LOOK AT YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS AND SEE WHERE YOU WENT WRONG
Did you always choose your mates based on initial looks? Perhaps it's time for you to shift your priorities and re-examine your core values.

13) WE ARE ALL ONLY HUMAN
We are human. We deserve a chance. Instead of judging our pasts, we should question our current values and what we plan to do for the future.

14) DROP ALL YOUR EXPECTATIONS
See that modest, mild-mannered guy over there? He might be a millionare 5 years from now.
And see that cocky guy driving a BMW? He might be bankrupt next month. So be prepared to be surprised. Expect the unexpected. There are no guarantees in life. And don't expect honesty: some people are not even honest with themselves, let alone with you.

15) DON'T CONFUSE SEX WITH LOVE & COMMITMENT
Even though your date had sex with you, they still don't owe you a thing. Whether you sleep with them once or a thousand times, they still may not be taking you seriously. Words like "boyfriend", "wife" or "love" are totally meaningless. Only the actions of your mate, over the test of time, will prove what they really are to you. It's a sad fact, but a person's word doesn't really count for much in this country.

16) THERE IS NOTHING BAD ABOUT POSTING A PERSONAL.
Many people, especially women, are afraid to do this. Women: Listen, every women who posts an ad on here is guaranteed to get about 100 responses (and that number doubles if she mentions "SEX"). There's nothing to be ashamed of in posting an ad. It's the modern age folks....and it makes no less sense than going to a noisy bar to find true love! So go ahead, and tell all your friends to do the same, and eventually we'll create a real community!

17) GAMES ARE UNAVOIDABLE.
Many people say they are sick of games. We all are, but they are an unavoidable part of dating. Games are just another form of dishonesty and passive-aggressiveness. Unfortunately, some people are fickle and even INSANE, and sometimes we don't find this out until we've wasted a lot of time and money on them. You can demand honesty from your partner, but you won't necessarily get it.

18) DON'T ASK FOR SOMEONE'S LIFE STORY ON THE FIRST DATE!
Don't turn the blind date into an interrogation!!! I keep meeting people that want to know my entire relationship history on the first date. This is downright offensive! Why should I tell my life story to someone I just met? We would never demand such information from a new coworker or classmate, so why do we expect people to do so on a date? People try to compress a year of personal secrets into a 2 hour dinner interrogation, and it just makes them awkward. Better to just relax and have a laugh, talk about hobbies and pursuits and goals. I'm more interested in someone's future than her past.
Again--The purpose of a first date is to see if you want to have a second date! That's all!
No more agenda! Just enjoy the moment and relax. If you make it to a second or third date, then you can get into more sordid details, but you'd be better off if you saved it for later.

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Top 10: Signs She's Crazy

She calls you endlessly
She's been in weird relationships
She hijacks your family and friends
She argues in public
She's unpredictable
She lies constantly
She interrogates you
She snoops around
She freaks over other women
She stalks you

Full Article

Movie Quote

Dumb and Dumber
Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

Awesome body Kate

21 Different Kind Of Girls At Bars - And How To Get Into Their Pants

1: Top priced pussy - She’s hot, and she fucking knows it. Her last 3 boyfriends where great looking and were fucking rich. If you come up to her with a fake FUBU shirt on and a bus pass your probably not gonna get the pussy. I mean, do me a fucking favor, size up the pussy first, if she looks way to fucking good, you might be onto something.

2: Top priced pussys FAT friend - I hope you brought a wingman. Poor bastard.So, if your up to par with the high class pussy friend, your gonna need someone to take one for the team. He has to be courageous and faithful to the wing man rules. If you know a friend of this caliber, give me his number. I have had too many friends of mine who swore elegances to the wing man code, and then broke for the door on me when I needed them the most. But, besides that, if the fat friend takes your buddy as bait and it works, you’re in for some high priced pussy. Don’t tell anybody about your friends demise. First rule of Fight Club, DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Your friend will thank you.

3: Girls with boyfriends/Husband - she wont tell you until you buy her 5 drinks, but you can still be friends. Fucking bitch just likes attention man. Nothing worse than that shit. She knows better, and she knows she’s not gonna give you the pussy but continues to take drinks and flirt like a whore. You have been bamboozled man, she won, walk away, chalk it up, you lost. But don’t fall for the shit again, chump.


4. Shes a "4" but acts like a "10" - just fucking annoying. Somewhere some how some dude lied to her and treated her like fucking royalty, so now you have to, too. Bullshit, she’s not even worth it, the pussy maybe nice, but lets some other dude put work in. She’s just gonna get on your nerves and your friends are gonna wonder why your even putting up with the shit. So, do me a favor, do what I would do, walk away, and wait for a better bitch to show up. Don’t worry about it.

5. The "rebel" that could be fucking hot, but instead she purposely dressing like fuck to "make a statement" Another thing I fucking hate to see. She’s obvious gorgeous but some how she got this notion that people would respect her more if she looked like a beast. She has it all wrong. But, this does not mean she don’t like men. I bet all it takes is some drinks, the right questions to make herself sound smart and interesting, and you’re in that pussy. Before you never talk to her again, let her know how great fucking looking she could be if she dressed nice and put some fucking makup on. If I can get the word fucking out threw you dudes, it be much appreciated.


6.Your ex-girlfriend - She’s not going away and she’s watching you. Stupid crazy slut wants you back, but some how it’s your fault for missing the "signs". It ended for a reason man, and your probably thinking to yourself that it be nice to fuck again for old time sakes. But, are you gonna end up having to explain AGAIN that you don’t want to be her boyfriend. It is best you steer clear of this bitch man, I mean, you have already gotten the pussy before, Let it go.


7. Your ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend - What a bitch right? Where the fuck does she get off bring that dude here, she knew you'd be here. If he’s bigger, don’t look at him, and play it cool. You can flatten his tires on the way out. But if you’re bigger, make life good and stare man. He’s probably a pussy anyway.

8. Lesbians - Well, are you trying to put work in really? She knows what she wants man, just cut your losses and go searching for pussy somewhere else. But, if she’s drunk, by all means, try. She’s been dieing for dick anyway, im sure.

9. Newly divorced Elder lady’s - This is a cool one. She’s looking for dick man. She had done the bar thing a million times before she got married. She’s most likely gonna guide you threw it. So, by all means, shut up and don’t say anything stupid, because she’s all about the mood. But, if she’s drunk, it’s probably a fucking lock, you’re in that pussy. I bet you in her hay day she was a dirty slut in bed. She’s just dieing to do it again. Life is good, man

10. The single mother - This one is weird. She’s looking for one of two things, man, and it aint a one nightstand in that pussy. That’s how she got her little bundle o' problem last time. She wants a boyfriend, and most likely a guy whose gonna treat her kid well. Run man, it is only your problem if you stay around like an idiot and put work in. But, if she’s hot, you have my blessing. A hot mother is a key piece of pussy, see what you can get.

11. The girl looking for love - Look man, I don’t know what to say. These bitches are a crazy one to deal with. She’s probably got her guard up, and gonna make you put huge work time in to get at that pussy. But, if you talk it just right, and make her believe you want to see her again, she just might let you at that pussy. It has happened, either women think if they give you some of the pussy that your gonna stay around or they completely just get caught up in the moment and forget that you just might run out after you get the pussy. I don’t advise you deal with this kind of bitch, but, if it’s a hot one, by all means, die trying.

12. The obvious dude in girl’s clothes - He's not tricking you right? And well technically I shouldn’t include him in the list, because he is not actually a girl. But, I have known guys that have been tricked before, and they were all thinking the same thing you are right now. We all think we can spot if "Its" actually a guy. Look man, stray away, if you’re not sure, then it’s not worth finding out. Because, if she actually does have a pussy, it will be a fucking weird road to find out so. So, if in question, find something else, man.

13. Your mother’s good friends - Anything you say or do to her man will be found out. She’s probably already figured out she’s not gonna give you any pussy, I mean what kind of friend to your mother would she be if she fucked her son. So, say hello, look the other way, and don’t try for that pussy.Your just not getting it, and that’s final. You can spend a better effort going somewhere else.

14. Friends sisters - Ah, well. You know you have always wanted that pussy, and she looks so good tonight, right? Sleep overs at his house when you guys were kids she made you crazy in those tight pajama shorts. There are some factors before you should try for this kind of pussy. (1) is he a good friend now, or when you guys were kids. Because if he’s not a good friend now, than take the pussy man, you have waited long enough. (2)Is he even in the fucking bar? Because if he’s not and she’s down to hand out that pussy, she’s probably not gonna tell anybody in the morning, or ever. So, if you keep your mouth shut, she will most likely. Girls aren’t gonna spread the word that they are whores and fucked her brothers friend.(3)You better make fucking sure she’s one of those chicks who is down to hand out the pussy and keep just friends again. Because, if you don’t want a relationship after, and she does, she’s not gonna be happy. That’s when she opens her fucking trap to her mother and all her friends and most likely to the brother about how you fucked her and left. So, count to 1,2,3 before jumping, man.

15. Friends ex-girlfriends - Dude, common. It wouldn’t be right. But, she’s a fucking slut in the sack, your friend told you all about it. It’s always gnawed on your brain what it be like. Well, your friend was probably who fucked up the relationship, right? You or her cant be held responsible if he’s a fucking moron for fucking it up and forfeiting that great pussy. Personally, I would do it. Get at that pussy raw, and take if for what it is. I wouldn’t say a word to anybody, not even other friends, they got fucking big mouths. So, again, if you think this bitch wont use the little fuck fest your about to have as some sort of vengeful thing to tell the ex, then by all means tame that pussy hard, because it might be the only chance you get, man.

16. The fat girls - She knows she hasn’t got the looks man. She is probably waiting for you to get drunk really. Maybe in some alcoholic fucking haze you would stick her pork ass. Me? Well, I would hold her off, be nice, and make sure not to spend much time with her at first. Because, when it gets to 2 in the morning and your still without any kind of pussy locked, she’s gonna look pretty fucking good. Don’t let your friends see man, or anybody else for that matter if you leave with her. Your rep is on the line, but your feening for the pussy, so do it like a pro and do it quit and desecret and you could just pull off getting the pussy and denying it to everybody when you’re called on it. If they didn’t see you leave with her, than she’s the fucking liar. Fat bitch.

17. The ugly girls - Well, I could have just thrown these sea donkeys in with the fat ones, but what the fuck. She’s probably most likely got a body, but the face is hurt, we have all seen it right? Do her man, fuck it right and keep her around on the lonely nights. Don’t bring her home so your dad can throw up, but just keep her in the wing for that pussy. She has probably already dealt with a guy keeping her out of site, and getting the pussy. So, be creative and play it cool. You could pull off being my fucking hero. But, for leaving in front of your friends and everyone else at the bar, make sure your walking away form them, so all they get is a view of her sexy ass body and her hair. And never show her to them ever again.

18. The black girls - I have to say, some are fucking hot, and cool people. But you better be ready to R E S P E C T man. They can drain your night, and keep you from actually pulling off getting any pussy. And if your white like I am, you have got allot of convincing to do. She thinks honkys are cute but dad would never approve. This may be all irrelevant to you, because you probably don’t plan on staying around after you get the pussy. But, she’s thinking LONG TERM COMMITMENT, so you better convince her you have got a black dad or something to get in to the pussy. She’s got to know you can relate to her heritage man, and make dad happy.

19. The Latin girls - You’re in luck big guy. Latin girls love the dick, I know what I am talking about, really. They can’t get enough of the shit. They are sluts. That means good news for you, man. All the work can be done with a few drinks and some key words and jokes, and the pussy is yours. I have never ran into a latin chick who wasn’t down for the dick, some way or another. But, there are obstacles you will run into I promise. So, do yourself a favor, buy her a drink, and hope she has more. Nothing finer than a hot latin DRUNK bitch laying next to you naked.

20. The asian chicks - Drunks. They all get there relatively quick too. They have usually a smaller body then most girls. So, not much work to put in really. Let them get drunk and tell her how cool she is. If your white, your practically a shoe in, asian chicks have a fetish for white dudes, no shit. Your probably gonna be down in the bush in no time. For you asian dudes, we'll, your out of luck really, small penis and the whiny car aren’t appealing to the asian chicks. So, you white and black dudes, go get her. Its gonna be a different kind of take out, if you know what I mean.

21. The molested when she was 10 girl - Well, a sad thing really. Fucking uncle or some shit got a hold of her. She has huge emotional shit still going on in her head, man. Even though it has been at least 10 or so years since it happened. So, your probably gonna get the pussy, no shit. These girls love to put out. But, it aint coming without a price. You better be ready to have the emotional explosion happen once she finds out you just got the pussy and left. It may of been a good fuck for you, but she’s already into some sort of mental thing of trying to get you to stay. So, if you want the huge fucking problems and probably a fucking scene the next time you see her in public, go ahead and fuck her. Pussy with emotional problems is no good for anybody, man.

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Happy Birthday Andrew

My Boys Birthday!

Movie Quote

Magnolia
In this life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve -- it's what you take.

Girl stripping on web cam

Men online: why we are the way we are

I know the subject of men responding to online personal ads has been covered from every angle imaginable since Al Gore miraculously created the magical network that is the Internet while landing on the Moon and shagging Britney Spears, but here's my $.02 anyway.

Girls. You post an ad online; you receive 300 responses in two minutes (four times that many if you include a picture of your boob). 290 of the 300 are from idiots, perverts, or idiotic perverts sending you pics of some other guy's dick. The other 10 are probably perfectly decent, normal guys. But what about the 290?

Well, the other 290 are a product of the dynamic, volatile mixture of biology, technology and timing. Ladies, imagine the horniest you've ever been. I mean, can't think straight, head is going to explode, must get off now in order to continue with the rest of your day, willing to rub against anything that won't press charges, horny. This is how the average guy feels roughly 8 hours a day. It would be more, but generally we don't feel the urge when we're eating. Food has its own unique pleasures to offer. (This is why it's poor manners to talk to us about anything half-way important while we're eating. Asking me about "us" or about my job when I have a Big Mac and Super Sized Fries in front of me is like me asking you about your sister right before you have an orgasm.)

Don't bash us guys for our sex drive. You owe your very existence to it. If men had the sexual appetite of most women, the human species would be nothing more than a faded spec of dust on Mother Nature's ass. But we've learned to be good about it. These days we have to deal with pesky things like civilization, laws and social acceptance. So we men suppress our biological urges for the wellbeing of society. We're good little monkeys. Until we get online and realize we're totally fucking anonymous. "...and it was as an ordinary secret sinner that I at last fell before the assaults of temptation." We become anonymous animals.

When you post an ad online, you get the worst of us, at our absolute worst. Imagine the skankiest, most nympho slut you know. Then imagine that she can't get laid on a Saturday night to save her life, and you have yourself the average 20-50 year old modern male. That's a lot of pent-up angst and dangerously low self-image issues that need venting.

And then there it is. This magic box that holds promises of sex. All you have to do is type a couple of nice, non-threatening words, attach a jpg image and click "send." You don't even need both hands to do it. The female Online Personal is deceptively simple and it pulls a lot of us gullible males into its web, no pun intended.

It's a simple supply and demand issue. Women offer up a very small quantity of a highly demanded product. If I could provide a graph here, I would. In a fictional example, as the amount of "sex with girls" on the market increases to meet the high demand, the value of said "sex with girls" drops. As more "sex with girls" hits the marketplace, 300 emails in 2 minutes suddenly becomes 200 emails in 10 minutes. Then 50. Then one. One being the number of female responses I received for each of the two m4w posts I've made in the "strictly platonic" section of Craig's List. One product offered, one buyer found, and the market has reached equilibrium...

So, where was I? I think that economics stuff threw me off a little. Suddenly I can't think straight. I don't know what's gotten finto fme. figfray fippleflay. I'm having trouble typing. I feel like my head is going to explode! Did my office manager just wink at me? I think she did. No, she has something in her eye. And now my cell phone is vibrating in my pocket. Mmmmmmmm....

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Men's Grooming

Good grooming habits in a man are of the utmost importance to women, so if you want to at least make it to that all-important third date, you’d better spend some time caring for yourself. However, after we take the mystery out of which products will give you the clear, bright skin you crave as well as show you how to get rid of flaky hair for good, you’ll only be a few clicks away from being irresistible. We’ll also teach you how to deal with oily or dry skin, show you how to use self-tanner, and give you the heads up on our favorite new products and the most fashion-forward facial hair styles to sport.

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Movie Quote

Forrest Gump
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Bikini Babes

Manipulative Hot Chick

You game playing, attention-craving dick tease. I should have known better. O.k. I'll say it: Girls who have guys for "friends" are sketchy. You heard me right, SKETCHY! That includes you, manipulative hot chick.

I won't go into the whole "When Harry Met Sally" theory, but let's face it. If a girl doesn't have many girl friends, and has lotsa guy friends, and she is hot,.... guess what? Her guy friends want to bang her. And guess what's more? She knows it. And guess what even more? She is using that power to manipulate the guys. I should know, I am one of those guys.

That's right, I'll admit it. I have become "that guy". I am not gay, I am not your boyfriend, but here I am, with you, the hot chick, maybe out a bar, maybe just hanging out, "chatting" on the phone, etc. But I am not having sex with you. I repeat WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX. Oh, I WANT to have sex with you, sure. But I am not. I have tried. I've heard every lame ass excuse you can throw my way, but I just keep coming back for more, hoping for the big break. That whole fucked up thing you got going on with your "boyfriend" is a scary testament to what you want in a relationship. That poor schmuck believes in giving you your freedom, and let's you hang around with guys like me who try to come up with new and clever ways to get some action. You know this, thrive off of it, you live it,.... you soul-less vixen.

It started innocent enough. An email here, a phone call there, etc. But then (and this is where I made my mistake) I started to think that we had *something*. I thought you felt the same. I thought we had something special outside of our relationships. Of course, phone calls got longer, emails got more frequent and we would be sharing intimate details of our lives together. Hey, this is kind of like dating, but, um,...where is the sex and stuff?

I'll tell you where the sex is. With one of the other "friends" you have, you heartless monster. I'm slowly learning how the game is played. You have the completely neutral friend, who really is gay, or just really doesn't want to have sex you- or more likely knows that you would NEVER have sex with him. Then you have the guy who is a little more close to getting some action (apparently me), maybe a drunk kiss here, maybe a few more phone calls or emails, perhaps a dirty dance or a quick feel. Then there is the guy friend that you probably REALLY want. The one who you will indeed have sex with, the one who you actually lust over, the one who you see yourself with when you eventually dump your sucker boyfriend (God only knows how he fits into the picture). You loveless heartbreaker.

You see, you are a manipulative hot chick. I am one of several (maybe more) guys that you keep around by giving us hope. Hope for a kiss that night, hope we will bang you, hope for a hand-job, hope for a real relationship - none of which we will get. We give you a rides, buy you drinks, talk to you when your "bored", listen to your bullshit about your boyfriend. We do all this for one thing: to get further with you. But here is the problem: I am not getting sex. I don't need another pal. I have "buddies" and chums. I have my homeboys and my crew. What I don't have is a hot piece of ass that I'm banging on the side. I am done. Tired of the games and manipulation. I've put my time in, played the game, (oh boy did I play the game). But I am trying to move along now. It's too much work. It's too fatiguing to actually pretend to care about your ailments and theories on who is cool and who isn't. The constant stream of self-absorbing drivel has become numbing. I finally see you for what you are: A manipulative hot chick.

Every time I see you on your cell phone (always), I can't help but think there is some other sucker on the other end of the phone, endlessly listening to you babble about yourself in the hopes of getting into your pants. You man eating psycho. Good luck to the new guy,..maybe he'll get further than me. I'm passing the torch. I am removing your # from my cell phone. Good luck. I am through playing the game.

....unless your plans fall through on Saturday. In which case, maybe we could hang.

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Top 10: Things To Never Ask Your Girlfriend

What's for dinner?
Can I borrow some money?
How many guys have you slept with?
Are you wearing that?
Don't you ever just want to start over somewhere new?
Do you want to have a threesome?
Why don't you join the gym?
Did you c*m?
Are you PMS-ing?
Why do you have to be such a bitch?

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