I'm still waiting for this...

Cabbie Attacked By Passenger With Ax

A taxi cab driver was attacked by a passenger in North Minneapolis early Thursday morning.

A dispatcher with Blue and White Taxi says Mohammed Farahid was attacked around 12:15 a.m. Farahid was robbed by a male passenger who then hit the driver with an ax.

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Biggest liar men or women?

Crazy women!

Juno MacGuff: Yea, you just take Soupy Sales to prom I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren's dumb Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you
Paulie Bleeker: You're being really immature... You have no reason to be mad at me, I mean, you know, you broke MY heart. I should be royally ticked off at you. I should be really cheesed off, I shouldn't want to talk to you anymore.
Juno MacGuff: What? Cause I got bored and had sex with you and I didn't want to like marry you?
Paulie Bleeker: Like I'd marry you! You'd be the meanest wife ever, okay? And I know that you weren't bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV, and then 'The Blair Witch Project' was coming on Starz and you were like 'I haven't seen this since it came out and if so we should watch it' and 'but oh, no, we should just make out instead la la la'
Juno MacGuff: You just take Katrina the douche-packer to prom. I'm sure you two will have like a real bitchin' time
Paulie Bleeker: Well, I still have your underwear!

Cactus Moon wingman

So I pick this guy up, Richard. He wants to go to the Moon, ok great, its ladies night. As we are driving over there, he asks me if I want to come in with him and be his "wingman". This is around 11 o'clock. So I say sure, for $100 I'll help him out until 2. He says, fine, and hands over the bill. So I go inside with him and he starts scouting out the room. Finally he locks onto this one girl, but she is all alone. So I excuse myself and take in the scenery as he puts forth his game. I check in with him over the next couple hours, but he is doing fine. Around 1 o'clock he gives me the eye and nod and I go over to talk. He pulls me aside and gives me the
"OK, your work here is done. She's taking me home."
I was glad to help.
Then as I was hanging around outside the front with a couple cabbies, these four women come stumbling out. They make eye contact, and me being Mr. friendly, I give them a hello. So they come over to flirt for a bit. And one of them asks me to "motorboat" her boobs as she calls her Fiancee! (You women sure are whacky)
Oh well, all in a days work...

Greatest pickup line, ever!

So I pick this girl up from a bar, heading over to another bar. We get to talking...yadda, yadda yadda. So after she pays me, she says
"You are sooooo cute! If you aren't doing anything later, I would love to suck your dick."
Wow! So I atleast have that going for me. Yes, I gave her my phone number. Yes, she called me later...

Fun (yet truthful) quotes from "House"

Dr. Gregory House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.

Dr. Gregory House: J'ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa... can't think of any others, they all die alone? The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it's crazy.
Dr. Wilson: It's an unfair world.

Dr. Robert Chase: You two are just too nasty to each other not to have been... nasty.
Dr. Gregory House: Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.

Stacy Warner: God, you are such an idiot.
Dr. Gregory House: Actually, I thought I was more of a jerk.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.
Dr. Gregory House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.

My episode of "COPS"

So I pick up this girl "Emma" who had walked to the Hilton from her apartment. She starts to tell me about her boyfriend "Adrian" being an ass. She is heading over to her Mom's house to let things settle down. After 10 mins she decides to turn around and head back to her place. So I drop her off and wish her the best of luck.

Now a couple minutes later as I am still in the parking lot, she comes running back out. Now, I can't refuse a girl in distress. (Even you ones out there that hate me, can't say that) So she hops back in the cab as the guy comes running along behind her. He is screaming and yelling and the girl tells me to call the cops. So I do as the guy realizes the doors are locked and she is not coming out. He storms off.

So I'm sitting with her in the front of the complex waiting for the cops. She tells me more of the story. (And especially those that hate me, know I can't resist lecturing) I prop her up, giving advice, etc. And he comes back out.

"I'm sorry, baby!"

I roll down the window so they can talk, but she makes me proud. Not having any of his BS. (Sometimes my lectures work) I tell him he might aswell go back inside and cool off, cuz the cops are on the way. Then he starts on me. Yelling, threatening, etc. And takes a swing at me through the window. And storms off again.

Now the cops arrive. So they get our stories and go in to talk with the guy. A few minutes later the cops got the guy on the ground. Poor Adrian has lost it, screaming about how all us "damn white boys" are out to get him. So they has him away and I am forced to comfort the poor, shaken girl.

Her story vs. My story

Sarah Mclachlan - I Will Remember You





Skid Row-I Remember You

OMG! Horoscopes are true! HAHAHA

The amusement you feel in watching someone else struggle isn't necessarily a bad thing! Don't feel bad if you are entertained by watching someone else try to figure something out. As long as you are supportive and not hurting their progress, you can react to what you see however you want to! Censoring how you truly feel is the same thing as lying, so don't make yourself act a certain way just because you think society dictates it. That's not who you are.

Wonders never cease

Once again I have learned just how confused and desperate people can be. It never ceases to amaze me how messed up things can get when you lie. One lie leads to another, and the deeper and deeper you get. Then you get mad when the other person starts noticing inconsistancies. And then you feel bad about yourself and feel even worse, lashing out because you can't face the fact that you acting badly.

So no matter what anyone will ever say about me, let it be said that I was an honest man. Not relatively honest, but honest. I don't intentionally hurt feelings or volunteer that your butt looks too big in those jeans. But yes, I will answer any question you ask. I will speak up with what I think you should know. I will not evade or mislead you.

This I swear...

Wendy and family

I pick up a couple with two children, ages maybe 7 and 9, over at broadway and kolb. They have some stuff with them like they had been shopping and maybe missed their bus, or maybe its there big family day out. I pull up and they open the door and ask (main pet peeve)
"Is this for Wendy?"
I give my standard answer
"Only if you want it to be..."
Now let me give you all a clue out there. If you call for a cab, and then a few minutes later one pulls up in front of you...JUST GET IN! Cab drivers don't care, first come first served!
So I get them in the cab and they begin to launch into family business. The two kids trying to pipe up and ask questions about things the parents shouldn't be talking about them in the first place. They get ignored, of course. So then they beging to call out loud every thing we pass by.
"Oh, Burger King."
"Here is my school."
There is a few,
"Will you just calm down."
"Be quite!"
But this is just one of those families that leaves my head shaking at the end of the night...

10 tangible things each of YOU can do to make traffic better

Yeah, you could ride transit or carpool or bike, but that's not gonna happen, so here are easy things you can actually do.

All of these fit a theme. Which is: It's not all about YOU out there. You are part of a collective. If everyone did these unselfish things, traffic would be much better:

1. Don't tailgate. When you tailgate, you have to tap your brakes at the slightest speed change. You tap for a second, the guy behind you taps for two, the guy behind him for four, and so forth. Ripple effect that equals slowdown.

2. Use onramps correctly. ACCELERATE! Get up to a speed that matches overall traffic, then merge seamlessly. Too many people here merge into 60 mph traffic at 40 mph. People hit their brakes, and again you get a ripple effect.

3. Honor the left lane. Move over when not overtaking cars. Yes, we've talked this one to death. Just do it.

4. Pick a lane and try to stick with it. Incessant lane changes for little real gain can cause slowdowns for much the same reason as the onramp example above. Think ahead: Will the lane you're in peter out soon, or turn into an exit-only lane? Get yourself in one that will see you through to your destination.

5. At stoplights, pay attention. If you're first in line waiting at a light, be sure you're pulled up far enough, as someone here already noted. Then PAY ATTENTION! Watch the light. When it changes, go! Driving is war, and you've got the point -- so stay alert! That goes for everyone in the back of the line too, but we have way too many people at the front who use stoplight time to apply makeup, read the paper, change the radio station or eat french fries off their car's floor.

6. Step on it. If traffic's going 40 in your lane, why aren't you keeping up with the guy ahead of you? Why do you feel the need to go 37? Again, you're part of a collective out there. Join in, please.

7. Don't go so fast you get pulled over. Because every time someone gets pulled over, it gums up traffic for the rest of us. People rubberneck and irrationally brake (like the trooper's gonna drop you to go after them), and the aforementioned ripple effect ensues. So drive briskly, but don't risk a ticket. If you're going over 65 in a 55 mph zone, you're risking it.

8. Look way down the road. Look ahead. Look far ahead. Look way past that big hurkin' SUV you're behind, if you can. The sooner you see signs and the sooner you see trouble, the sooner you can avoid messing up in a way that affects the rest of us.

9. Live the golden rule. Let people in. Wave when someone lets you in. I wish I had a buck for every time I've signaled to enter a gap in a lane, and the car that's far back in that lane guns it to try to keep me from moving over. No wait, I don't wish I had a buck, I wish I had his head on a pike. But you've gotta check that impulse too. Do unto others ... you know.

10. Devote yourself to the task. This is covered in many of the points above, but driving is not simply something you do to pass the time while listening to the radio. Driving is the all-consuming task at hand.

So DO it -- briskly, efficiently and competently. So that we can all get out of each other's way.

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man about women

If your girlfriend doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That’s what girlfriends are for.

Don’t bother with “emotional affairs.” They are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That’s the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they’re probably fucking someone else.

Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don’t just concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you’ll find your wife fucking somebody else.

Don’t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she’s wrong. She should know that you have her back. When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you’ll take her part.

Don’t cheat on your wife/girlfriend. If you must cheat, don’t humiliate her. Don’t risk having your transgressions come back to her or her friends. Don’t do it where you live. Don’t do it with people in your social circle. Don’t shit in your own back yard.

Don’t hate women. It’s a waste of time

Tough to be a guy....

So I pick this guy up at the Moon. He wants to head over to the Maverick around 1am to try and "salvage" his night. Seems that he spent the whole night (and alot of drinks) trying to woo this one woman. And after putting in the time and thinking things are heading towards somekind of penetration, her license plate gets anounced over the P.A. Seems that her car got broken into. She flips out, especially since her purse was in there and was taken. (Nice to be a girl, huh guys. Hang out in a bar with no money!) So the poor upset girl was definitely not in the mood, and my fare had to scramble to make up for lost time....

Its rough out there!

Guitar Hero ~ Dada - Dizz Knee Land

Aristotle Quotes

It concerns us to know the purposes we seek in life, for then, like archers aiming at a definite mark, we shall be more likely to attain what we want.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

The gods too are fond of a joke.

The high minded man must care more for the truth than for what people think.

Frank Sinatra ~ My Way