Survival Of The Fittest

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Tucson Desert Diamon Casino

Ok! Regular "D" wanted to blow off some steam! So we headed out to the Desert Diamond casino on old Nogales. She didn't do so well, and those of you who know about my blackjack problem will be glad to know, I only lost $1. A couple of college guys were blowing daddy's money, and there were a couple hot women there, but all in all, nothing special.

Discover New Friends

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently, and I think I'm ready to take this relationship, our relationship to the next level.
Gloria Cleary: Jeremy, I am so ready to take it to the next level.
Jeremy Grey: Really?
Gloria Cleary: Yeah. Do you want to watch me with another girl? How about those Brazilian twins we met at the ball game?
Jeremy Grey: I was thinking more along the lines of an engagement.
Gloria Cleary: Oh Jeremy, I do!
Jeremy Grey: I love you.
Gloria Cleary: I love you.

Def Leppard - Stand Up ( Kick Love Into Motion )

One through ten

Inspiration: The World's Best Quotes in 1-10 Words

1. Love
2. Know thyself
3. Inches make champions
4. Nothing gold can stay
5. Work is love made visible
6. No great thing is created suddenly
7. Well done is better than well said
8. No wind favors he who has no destined port
9. Sometimes even to live is an act of courage
10. Do first things first, and second things not at all

I promised something nice...

Butterfly

From baseball to web,
sweet time at nightfall.
Lunch at La Salsa,
and trips to the mall.

Saw what I wanted,
and found so much more.
All sadness was gone,
my heart lept to soar.

Beauty and wonder,
she was oh so full.
Lucky to see her,
and that is no bull.

How things went so wrong,
I gave it some thought.
Is there no way back,
was it all for naught?

Some months have gone by,
love seems to be lost.
What can I do now,
to thaw out this frost?

Life is not easy,
and often quite vile.
To make her happy,
could make it worthwhile!

Daily Taurus Forecast

Quickie: If something isn't for you, it isn't for you. Stop apologizing about opinions.
Overview: You've got some serious charisma radiating from the core of your being today, though it may be more appealing to those who don't know you well yet. Work with new clients or friends of friends.

John Waite - Missing You (1984)

I am such a softy!

Daily Taurus Forecast

Your charm has established a strong foothold in someone's mind. Build on it today.

When Dorks Attack

So there I was in line to get a cup of coffee, not a half-caff two-pump Frankendrink, at my local independent coffee retailer, not a BevMart with a line out the door, when this really cool chick behind me admired my bag.

Now, I'm proud of this bag because I was determined not to get a BoyBag or a ManPurse, but I needed something to carry my iBook around in and one run-on sentence led to another and I scored this groovy navy surplus map case for $15. Shoulder strap is oh-so-convenient. Butch factor 12. Gender confidence high.

So this groovy girl sort of tugs on my sleeve (how cute is that?) and I turn around and she's got sort of kinky curly hair (not pervy-kinky, actually kinky) and those half-height glasses that brainiacs wear that make me swoon. Lil stud in her nose (jewelry, not like Fernando-stud), sassy starched white shirt (the kind you can see the tasteful yet lacy bra through, yum).

"Hey," she tugged. "Nice bag."

I am no smoothie but when pressed I can totally summon the blarney and I mean when a beautiful woman tugs your sleeve and compliments your bag, that is pressure, mano. I was hoping she wouldn't look down to the peds because I left the house in a hurry and went for the battered sneaker look. I never seem to meet chicks when I'm wearing the Bally lace-ups. Probably because they fuck up my posture.

"Thanks," I said, and it came out way more baritone than I was expecting, owing to activities of previous P.M. and the early hour of the A.M. Startled by my own Barry Whiteness, the blarney left me and I blurted out "I like your... "

This is where you need to be not so much social in the morning. Sure, at a dinner party you might return the compliment with a degree of panache; you're awake. What you probably would not say is:

"Thanks. I like your... lips."

The thing is, her lips were not her best feature. They just happened to be what I was staring at when my mouth needed something to say. Mouth: 'Hey Brain, I'm in a jam...' Brain: 'Lips. Next..?'

She looked at me a little quizzically, and those lips went into a half-smile that kind of punched right through my sternum and lodged in my spine. You could tell, because as we inched forward in line, I practically fell over trying to explain my Nifty Bag Features in an attempt to save the moment.

Which is why all five condoms I own spilled out onto the floor along with a pen and thirty-seven cents. I have no idea why those items were in my bag. Especially the pen.

She gamely looked at the drink board. I noticed her shoes. She ordered a small coffee to go. No one else noticed much of anything.

Daily Taurus Forecast

Do not be too possessive of your friend's time. They need more breathing room.

Rascal Flatts What Hurts The Most

William Shakespeare quotes

“Listen to many, speak to a few.”

“Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind”

“Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall”

“I was adored once too.”

God Bless The USA By Lee Greenwood

Andrew and Ethan?

Yes - owner of a lonely heart



My boy will be a Monster!

10 years building a wall

Has it really been that long? 10 years?

I've built a really tall wall around my poor brusied heart. With good reason, I would like to believe. But the funny thing is, it works both ways.

Not only is it difficult to let someone in, but it is also hard to let someone out aswell. So the few, the brave, the persistant, the worthy can get in. But then they roam around inside for years...

I'm such a softy! How can I be so misunderstood?

BTW. Go Cowboys! 1st game tonight :)

ABC's of a Mark relationship

OK. I've given this some thought and come up with the 3 basic things I need to stay in a relationship.

A. Attention.
I need to be interested. Good sex, lively conversation, great times. Yes, great sex can make up for alot.

B. Believe.
I need to be able trust you. Say what you mean, mean what you say. From the big things to following up when you say you will call.

C. Compatability.
Not a perfect match. But religious, political, life goals, family values can't be total opposites.

Coven - One Tin Soldier