Things Men Should Know About Women

# 66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

Men Rules

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really!!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

The Moon and Sixpence

"Don't you know why he married her?"

I shook my head.

"She was a governess in the family of some Roman prince, and
the son of the house seduced her. She thought he was going to
marry her. They turned her out into the street neck and crop.
She was going to have a baby, and she tried to commit suicide.
Stroeve found her and married her."

"It was just like him. I never knew anyone with so
compassionate a heart."

I had often wondered why that ill-assorted pair had married,
but just that explanation had never occurred to me. That was
perhaps the cause of the peculiar quality of Dirk's love for
his wife. I had noticed in it something more than passion.
I remembered also how I had always fancied that her reserve
concealed I knew not what; but now I saw in it more than the
desire to hide a shameful secret. Her tranquillity was like
the sullen calm that broods over an island which has been
swept by a hurricane. Her cheerfulness was the cheerfulness
of despair. Strickland interrupted my reflections with an
observation the profound cynicism of which startled me.

"A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her," he said,
"but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on
her account."

Read the Book

Woman told to remarry after ‘drunken’ divorce

OK. We have our problems, but Muslim's are just plain whacky!

Islamic clerics say woman can only rejoin husband after marrying old man

KOLKATA, India - Islamic clerics in eastern India have ruled that a woman divorced by her husband in a fit of drunkenness can remarry him only after she takes another husband for one day, police said on Monday.

Ershad, a rickshaw puller, uttered the word “talaq,” or divorce, three times earlier this month while he was drunk, and when news leaked out in their village in eastern Orissa state, the clerics said they must separate.

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Brooke Burke

I went to elementary school with her brother! I saw her as a child. Boy has she changed...



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Wiki Tucson

Wikipedia Tucson

Tucson (pronounced /ˈtusɑn/, Spanish: Tucsón) is a city and the seat of Pima County, Arizona, United States, located 118 miles (188 km) southeast of Phoenix. As of July 1, 2005 a census estimate put the city's population at 521,605, and the metropolitan population at 931,210. By 2008 the city population is expected to exceed 610,000, while the metropolitan population is expected to exceed 1 million by spring 2007. In 2005 Tucson ranked as the 32nd-largest city and 52nd-largest metropolitan area in the U.S.

The name Tucson originates via Spanish from the O'odham, Cuk Ṣon (pronounced [ʧʊk ʂɔn]; roughly, "chuk shon"), meaning "Black Base," a reference to the mostly volcanic mountains on the west side of the city. The most notable of these mountains is Sentinel Peak, better known as "A Mountain" because it sports a large letter A in honor of the nearby University of Arizona, situated in west central Tucson. Tucson is sometimes referred to as "The Old Pueblo."

Stupidity

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
~ Albert Einstein
US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
~ Euripides, The Bacchae, circa 407 B.C.
Greek tragic dramatist (484 BC - 406 BC)

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
~ George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman (1903) "Maxims for Revolutionists"
Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)

Quotations Page

Secondhand Lions (2003)

Hub: Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.
Quote Page

Friendship

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.
~ Aristotle, Eudemian Ethics
Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC)

The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.
~ Cicero, De Amicitia
Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)

Grace Park

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Fitness made simple. Push ups

What’s the oldest trick in the big book of fitness exercises? You guessed it, it’s the push ups. This exercise is so well known and has been around for so long that I think it must have been performed by Roman soldiers, too. It looks ancient and it feels ancient. But it’s also extremely simple and extremely effective. So, if you want those bulging pectorals, get down and give me 20.

Push ups are a great exercise that can be performed anywhere. The basic push up is performed lying face down on the floor and then raising and lowering the body using just the arms. Push ups are meant to strengthen the pectorals, triceps and, to some extent, the deltoids, but are also good as core body strength exercises.

If you really want to put pressure on your shoulder and chest muscles you can try the press ups, which are the military or athletic version of the push ups. Press ups are performed with the back and legs straight and off the floor. If you are at home, you can put your feet on a low chair or armchair. If you’re in the park, you can use a bench to prop up your feet. Try not to raise your legs too high above the shoulder line.

Other variations include push ups performed using just four fingers at each hand, using only one hand, clapping the hands (requires strong pushes that raise the body higher than usual), or pressing against a wall instead of using the floor (the farther your feet are from the wall, the harder the exercise). Take care not to injure yourself while performing some of the more exotic variations.

If you’re an overweight person looking to get back into shape, you should not avoid push ups. This exercise can teach you something about carrying your own weight. And if you are dieting, you would do well to give ProShaperx a try. These natural pills will make weight loss easier for you by taking away the feeling of hunger and helping your body regulate the intake of calories. It’s so easy it’s simply amazing.

Check out PRO SHAPE

Fitness made simple. Sit-ups

Getting up in the morning and going straight to work or other chores can be a bore. There are days when one simply doesn’t feel like getting out of bed. And this is where exercising can actually help you with a kick start. A quick workout session at the beginning of the day can do wonders for your health, especially if you’re also trying to lose weight. Since the perfectly natural ProShaperx pills need to be taken 30 minutes before meals, you have plenty of time before breakfast to exercise a bit.

Sit-ups are one of those exercises that can be performed at home. To perform sit-ups you need to lie on your back on the floor and bend your knees at 90 degrees. Then, you have to sit up without moving your legs at all. It is very important not to use your leg muscles to balance the body, compensate or supplement the effort made by the abdominal muscles or you will get no benefit from this exercise.

You may want to perform the exercise on a workout mat or pad in order to make it easier on your back. Some people find it uncomfortable when the lower back bones press into a hardwood floor, which is why mats and pads are recommended.

However, if you want sit-ups to be fully effective, you should coupled them with generic cardio exercises, such as running, which will lower the overall body fat and leave the abs exposed. If you experience lower back pain, you should stop performing sit-ups and settle for crunches or other exercises that do not involve lower back movement.

This exercise will help you get those cool looking abdominals that everybody wants to show off. Today, both men and women are eager to acquire that “tough to the core” look that a well defined six-pack gives. It’s a sign of a body kept well in hand and of a strong will behind it.

Other lose weight tips

Avoiding the Freshman 15

What's scarier than the thought of failing a class your first semester in college or being paired with an incompatible roommate? That's right, the dreaded Freshman 15 — those pesky pounds you pack on when Mom stops cooking for you and you find yourself eating dining hall pizza three times a week and Chinese food for breakfast. Staying healthy as you adjust to living on your own for the first time is simply a matter of making the right choices. To help freshmen make informed decisions, we've compiled some suggestions for how to eat right on a meal plan and in the dorm room, stay fit with easy activities, fend off germs and use campus health resources. After all, your mind can't perform at its peak until your body is in the best condition possible.

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End for El Dorado Hospital

El Dorado Hospital sent its last patient home Thursday and will close for good this afternoon. The hospital, at 1400 N. Wilmot Road, will see patients in its emergency department until about 2 p.m., said spokeswoman Julia Strange.

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Finally free on anniversary

Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.

One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.

"Hey buddy, how'd you get your shiner?"

"Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was fuckin' hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said 'two PICKets to TITTsburg' and she hit me square in the face. How about you? How'd you get yours?"

"Something similar actaully! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, 'Honey, can you please pass the peas?' But I slipped up and said "You fucking bitch you ruined my life!"

Agents find ton of pot in stolen truck

Tucson, AZ - Border Patrol agents seized more than a ton of marijuana Tuesday after finding a stolen truck in the desert near Casa Grande.

The agents were patrolling near the Tohono O'odham village of Kohatk, about 20 miles southwest of Casa Grande, when they spotted fresh vehicle tracks in the area, according to a U.S. Customs and Border Protection news release.

With the assistance of a Border Patrol helicopter, the agents found a 2000 Dodge pickup truck with several bundles of marijuana in the bed.

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A man and a woman were spotted nearby, the release said.

After stopping the man and the woman, agents searched the truck, which they later learned was reported stolen from Mesa.

Inside the truck's bed, they found 142 bundles of marijuana weighing more than 2,400 pounds.

Agents learned the two people were Mexican nationals. They were processed and returned to Mexico.

Released to try again...

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